Also known as Fluid State Comestibles Incorporated, the Cafe is a zone built around the concept of a cafe and is run by Flair. They open different branches in other zones, manifesting as a coffee shop. They also served in the grey zone but the grey zoner's cores filters them into something they are more familiar, so they look normal for them. The menu contains from ordinary drinks to more or less appropriate drinks for humans, even outright poison. It's common for them to offer a complimentary free drink and other special offers to customers but this is also accompanied by psychological tricks to compel customers to give bigger tips. They accept a variety of currency as payment, including used bandages, teeth or blood. They also take tips. Flair is extremely greedy and wants all of her customer's money. If any of her employees feel the need to kill customers they are only allowed to do so if their intended victims no longer have money on them. At one point, merely entering The Cafe and not ordering anything costs money. Comically, ordering nothing can be more expensive than some of the other drinks.
At the beginning The Cafe started out small, with Chip being the only barista. But later Chip was replaced by Joe, who after a while always turns into a Slob (Joeslob). This abnormality was inherited from Joe's former life as Jay. After turning into a Slob, Joe can respawn and coexist with them. The Slobs also carry on wearing the Flair badges, making them Cafe employees under Flair's control. With an endless free source of new employees The Cafe was able to expand, as noted by its larger size. Also with great success comes more greed.