The Birthday Cake
Bioform: Cake conceptoid(?)
Native zone: Primordial zone
Residence:  ?
Occupation: Fallen godlike entity
Likes: Cake
Dislikes: Not cake
Blog: The "Cake" Story

The first thing to exist, perceived to be a cake from our perception.


Before anything to exist, including the zones, there was only The Birthday Cake. It is so narcissistic that the sudden existence of other things that weren't cake infuriated it intensely. This event was preceded by its out of the blue sickness. The cake had mold on it and its candles went out. It slowly decomposed until only the crumbs remained. However, The Crumbs remembered the cake and formed the Parliament. They aim at destroying existence and achieving the oneness of the cake. They also share the same hatred of existence as the cake they originated from.

The Cake is well aware of Fern and the threat she represents to their goals and lets its presence known using subtle signs. One example is the metal plate with the cake drawn on it Fern found in her patient room after a respawn. Below the cake it is written "SOON :)". Over time, it changed, having red flesh growing around it and the cake having losing candles, suggesting a countdown. Eyeslob sees the metal plate as a red fleshy construct with unknown purposes. The cake's logo also appeared on the back of Crashslob's monitor, he already being infected by a Parliament disease. Computer Chip managed to get access to an error log in Crash's files that were previously inaccessible to the latter computoid that was a result of Parliament corruption. Chip showed it to Fern and at the very end there's a window with the title "HELLO FERN", a slice of cake image and the option button "die". This was a more direct way the Cake has interacted with our protagonist.

The "cake's" story can be read in this short children's book.


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