Stone Slab
"Hi there! Checking in?"
Other names: Speedy
Bioform: Stone
Native zone: The Morgue
Residence: The Morgue, Burgrr Inc.
Occupation: Bellhop, guide, mortician, cashier
Stone Slab works in The Morgue as a bellhop, guide and mortician. He leads Fern through the Morgue and saves her from the dreaded Re-vourer by pushing her off of an edge in an attempt to protect her, demonstrating his trustworthiness. The encounter left him scarred, losing his right eyeball.


He is a floating cracked tombstone with the jagged lower half giving him a ghost shape. He is wearing a red bellboy hat as part of his uniform. His eyes are big and blue, occupying the sockets in such a way that they can be seen from behind. Stone Slab also has the ability to manifest arms if needed. "Literally as many as he wants, I just haven't had a reason to draw more than two at a time yet. His entire surface can erupt with limbs! They can also stretch as long and as jointed as necessary." He also uses a skull lantern to light his path.

As part of the Slab Council, Stone Slab works at the Morgue as an elevator operator. He has a friendly attitude and doesn't ask too much about other's business. His views on life and death are a bit different, considering that everything is alive and the only thing that changes is which parts eat and which parts get eaten. While he doesn't have legs and relies on floating, he's weirded out by the concept of legs.

Following an incident that made the dead turn into Slobs, the Morgue agreed for a merger with Burgrr Inc. Now Burgrr uses the Slobs as a new meat source while their regeneration capabilities make them inexhaustible. No longer working with inert biovessels, Stone Slab now has taken a new position as a fast-food cashier alongside with Miss and he enjoys it. Now he wears a new hat with the Burgrr logo on it.

First AppearanceEdit

In Awful Hospital operating the Morgue's elevator.


  • His shape is similar to a Pac-Man ghost. The Morgue hallways are also similar to the maze of said game.
  • His file name is Speedy, suggesting that there are more stone slabs.
    • Speedy is incidentally an alternate name of Pinky, one of the ghosts from Pac-Man.
  • The music he plays in the elevator is the theme from the Lavender Town Syndrome creepypasta.
  • His job position is higher than that of Balmer's.