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Joe
Coffeejoe
"WELCOME. TO THE CAFE. I HATE YOU FOR SOME REASON."
Info
Other names: Coffee Jay
Bioform: Cafe conceptoid
Native zone: Grey zone (as a human)
Residence: The Cafe
Occupation: Barista
Likes: Pouring himself, violence, dolphins
Dislikes: Fern
Chip's replacement, a new version of Jay created by putting Jay's core in Chip's place.

Description Edit

Joe is Jay's core in Chip's body after a core-swapping procedure was approved by Fern pretending to be Dr Tori. He's a humanoid with a paper cup full of cheap coffee for a head and a torc made out of a "caution, hot!" liner. He has red unblinking eyes, a frightening smile, a drawn blue nose hole and a few strands of hair on his sides. Joe retained his former self's lanky thin body type and instead of being fully blue with a bacterial pattern he now wears a blue-colored uniform and his cup-head is also blue. Even the neck brace Jay was wearing during his final life cycle "translated" to one of those "HOT! CAUTION!" covers that coffee shops put on their disposal coffee cups. His cup head is filled with a grey slop that stinks like melted tires mixed with congealed bacon grease, which also is his blood. His head is detachable and in contrast to Chip's agony when he poured himself, Jay expresses a soothing pleasure when he pours his "coffee", also called "blackish foam". He himself came up with the idea of serving his contents on the house, despite it being a lethal poison to most living beings.

But unlike Chip (who took Crash's place as a computer), he has not retained his memories and is not exactly the same person. But he still feels a subconscious and intense hatred towards Fern, who he believed, thanks to Crash, to be a psychotic murderous monster and was about to unexist him and Crash. Joe keeps slipping death threats towards Fern when casually conversing with her and feels the need to rip her in half but is kept in control by Flair, his boss that is also his badge. Flair prevents Joe from killing anybody just because it's unprofitable. Only customers without money are allowed to be killed. He speaks with a weird period placement. Still being a trainee, Joe actually seem to enjoy his current job but Chip was better at it and didn't like it. Also has an admiration towards dolphins because of their brutality and recalls being maimed by one once. He and Flair are seen as an item since they make each other feel fulfilled.

An interesting thing that Joe inherited from his former self is the property to eventually turn into a Slob (Joeslob). These Slobs can coexist with Joe after his respawn and continue wearing the Flair badge, making them still working employees of The Cafe. With this free source of Slob workers The Cafe was able too expand, as noticed by its increase in size.

First Appearance Edit

In Awful Hospital.

TriviaEdit

  • His name is a pun on cup of Joe.
  • His speech is always in all uppercase.
  • A real Joe cup can be bought on Redbubble.

Gallery Edit