Dr. H.M. Phage T.E.
"We'll have those hearts pumping healthy yellow bile again in no time!"
Other names: Highly Magnified Doctor Phage Thoroughly Educated
Bioform: Viral
Native zone: The Hospital
Residence: The Hospital
Occupation: Chief physician, radiologist, surgeon, pathologist, pathogen, immunologist, urologist, gynaecologist, reverse gynaecologist, taxidermist, dentist, forensic entomologist, necrobiological reconstructionist, herbalist, fashionist and twin-core husk intersector licensed in all chromatic, material and hypothetical perception zones
Likes: Bowties, yogurt, ducks
Blog: Twiter
Dr. H. M. Phage, T. E. is the head practitioner in the the Hospital and looks like a giant bacteriophage virus. His actual abilities as a medical practitioner when compared to his peers are unclear, but he seems to be highly knowledgeable about the different zones. Given current evidence, he might best be described as "Jack of all trades, master of none." However, not only would he strongly object to this, but it is also important to note that given the sheer number and variety of zones and patients the hospital deals with, being a jack of all trades is rather impressive regardless of how many of said feats are actually mastered or simply passing knowledge.


Phage has a huge ego and talks at length about himself and his hobbies. He often boasts about his accomplishments and esteemed degrees he himself invented. He appears very clueless to a grey zoner, but when dealing with something he's familiar, he shows more competence. Phage has an interest in collecting bowties and ducks. His ties come out of a tie zone located within his head. He also has an interest in drawing. Ms Green is able to trick him by placing a picture drawn by Phage on a door outside his lab, to make him think he is already hard at work. This makes more sense if we consider that "time" works very differently here and in his perception everything looks like a drawing. He is able to see a normal sized microscopic virus but he's still tricked to mistaken a toy soldier with Ms Green.

Phage can often be found accompanied by Dr Phleboto around the Hospital. Compared to Phage, Phleboto seems to be more rational, questioning Phage about what he's doing. This obviously annoys Phage, as he considers himself the best doctor. The relationship he has with Dr Man is unclear, as he blocks his perception of him and sees his door boarded up. This ability is also shown when he doesn't perceive Depressed Spleen. He also has a Twitter page , which provides additional commentary on story events and characters.

First AppearanceEdit

Phage first started out as a classic comic character in two comics. He later appeared in a two part creepypasta, Don't Get Spooked and lately in Awful Hospital.


  • Usually, Phage has a different bowtie design in every panel.


Some have speculated that Phage has a crush on C. Tori based on his opinion of her (Spooked). 


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