|Spleonard S. Spleenus|
|"I take it you're here so you can leave again in disgust."|
|Other names:||Spleen, Depressed Spleen, Sploenard (sic), Purple Thing|
|Likes:||I don't know, dirt?|
|Dislikes:||Everything, always, completely|
Depressed Spleen is, of course, a spleen. The rest of his body consists of a stalk made of veins and arteries. He is one of the more reproachable characters, due to his disdain of others and depressing attitude, best described as "a jaded, bitter, pessimistic, misanthropic, melodramatic, possibly masochistic glutton for misery and gloom." He also constantly complains, being an annoyance to others. He considers those that subject to his ramblings as self punishing and masochistic. He came to the Hospital to seek attention, not necessarily for treatment. Even if he doesn't have a real problem, he refuses to leave. Dr Phage recommended ignoring him until he leaves, an act he taken as far as blocking Spleen from his perception.
Despite his personality defects, Nurse Molly finds him interesting, staying by his bedside to listen to him talk about his life after treating him for malaria. It's not clear how Spleen is really feeling towards her, but considers her as "another kind of wretched" as opposed to others he interacted with.
hower it turns out Molly was feeding off his blood and other medical wast to make bio bages. she drains away his malaria-infected blood until he looks like a vampire's victim
- His names are a play on the word spleen.
- On his blog his name is misspelled as "Sploenard".